GRATITUDE VS INGRATITUDE

GRATITUDE   vs INGRATITUDE

GRATITUDE :

• The state of being Grateful
• The act of Appreciation and being Thankful

INGRATITUDE :

• A lack or absence of being Grateful or Thankfulness

• A Disdain response to  Kindness.

‘Gratitude’ is derived from the Latin word ‘Gratia’, which, depending on the context, translates as “Grace”, ‘Graciousness’, or ‘Gratefulness’.

Gratitude is a virtue that never comes easily to us human beings due to our nature that is tied to strong will, and this is a diminishing virtue in our modern time. In our consumerist society, we place so much emphasis on what we Lack, or on what other people have which we don’t have, whereas gratitude is the sincere feeling of appreciating what we already have and being thankful of it.
For me it is the recognition that the good in our life can come from something that is outside us and outside our control; be it other people, nature, or a higher power—and that owes little or nothing to us.

Gratitude is not a technique or a stratagem to delude, but a complex and refined moral disposition emanating from the depths of sincerity. It can also be said to be ‘the memory of the heart’, ‘the moral memory of mankind’, and ‘the mother and source of good virtues’.
It is very important not to misconstrue indebtedness for gratitude,both for the beneficiary and the benefactor. Indebtedness is a much more contained and necessary obligation (or perceived obligation) on the part of the beneficiary to recompense or otherwise compensate the benefactor, not because recompense is a pleasure, but because obligation is a pain. Unlike gratitude, indebtedness can lead the beneficiary to avoid and even resent the benefactor.

Gratitude should also be distinguished from appreciation, which is the recognition of the good qualities of a person or thing, but without the dimension of awe or wonder or profundity or humility that is the essence of gratitude.
Gratitude is magnified if the conferred benefit is unexpected, or if the benefactor is in the higher position of help, or if the benefactor is of a higher social status than the beneficiary. If a benefit comes to be expected, both it and the benefactor tend to be taken for granted by the beneficiary.

Gratitude is the parent of all other virtues.

Gratitude is linked with satisfaction, motivation, and positive energy and reduces stress and sadness. Grateful people are much more engaged with their environment, leading to greater personal growth and self-acceptance, and stronger feelings of purpose and specialness.

Gratitude enables connection  between people in a mutual state which supports a sustaining societal platform for  genuine relationships, which, of course, acts as a strengthening agent and encourages development. It is the foundation of the type of society in which people can look after one another without coercion, incentives, or governmental interference, which, unlike indebtedness, which demean rather than exalts.

“Gratitude can be for future benefits as well as past and present benefits”

Gratitude for future benefits promotes optimism, and optimism with Faith. Religion emphasise on gratitude. In the Christian tradition, one of the most important ordinances is the Holy Communion or Eucharist, a term which is derived from the Greek word ‘eucharistia’, which means  ‘thanksgiving’. It is important to note that Martin Luther himself spoke of gratitude as ‘the basic Christian attitude’. More than just a mere feeling, Christian gratitude is a “virtue”, or disposition of the soul, that shapes our thoughts through a remembered relationship with God and His creation, through His Son Jesus Christ.

Ingratitude
In contrast, ingratitude on the part of a beneficiary is hurtful, because it negates the efforts and sacrifices of the benefactor, thereby affronting him or her with the pain of life itself.

Ingratitude is thinking nothing of what has been done or given to you by someone else. That is to say, not feeling bound to show gratitude. In other words, ingratitude is a discreditable lack of gratefulness. It is synonymous with Ungratefulness.

Ingratitude is the share act of ‘vileness’.

No wonder, the act of Ingratitude has become the norm of our society today, which corrodes social bonds and undermines public trust, which has given way to societies been built on rights and entitlements rather than duties and obligations, societies been built on me rather than us, and in which every aspect of human life has to be regulated, monitored, and managed.

In our today's society ingratitude is an easy trait to cultivate, because it feeds itself with the deep appetite of human greed in particular, our strive to better our lot, our need to feel in control of our destiny, our disposition to credit ourselves for our successes while forgetting the role others played for our reached success.

Since human nature does not leave much place for gratitude, it is an attained virtue which is associated with emotional maturity; no wonder why children are taught to chorus ‘thank you’, but never really mean it.

My Experience:

#  As A Devote Worker

I worked for a boss for several years and I gave my heart to service under him. My loyalty was sure and commitment to my duties was absolute, which till this day I believe I did give a greater part of my strength to his course.

In all my years of pain and hard work, he never showed gratitude for all those years of toil. To him, he felt my salary was his Gratitude to me and he also felt that was my care. He never thought it right to show the simple gesture of saying “Thank you” for the sleepless nights which does not commensurate to the money paid as salary.

# Help To A Total Stranger, Whom I Thought Was A Friend

Some years back as a young vibrant youth I believed so much in being there for one another. I would open up my heart and arms to everyone whom I felt was friendly and whom love God, whom loved peace and had a kind heart. I guess I can attribute that to the fact of being the only child of my parents, which really left a BIG vacuum in my heart and I tried filling it up with friends.

I remember a certain friend whom was serving an uncle and I got to know this guy from our church back then in Four Square Gospel Church. Being my regular self I got to know this guy and took him as a friend, in the process I drew him close to other youths in church and also made him feel wanted and among. He would always complain of how his uncle would maltreat him and all, and I never cared to see reasons from the angel of his uncle, but would think he was being cheated and maltreated. The heat got to the point he was sent out of the house and left for the streets, that's where my heart would always come into play as I took in this guy whom I don't know from Adam.

I convinced my parents to accept him into our lives as one of us, which they did wholeheartedly, “a total stranger”.

This guy lived with us for many years, my mother also entrusted a certain business to this guy which he destroyed with style and stylishly began his own business. The business opportunity my mother had was lost through the cunning hands of this same guy. Left debts for my family to pay and after years of living with us, he was able to build his business and was OK to leave us to continue with his life.

My home was a springboard for this guy, he left and was OK to a good point in life but this guy ever turned back to show Gratitude to the hands that feed him, the hands that gave him a chance.

At some point the same guy would not regard my parents phone calls,nor come around to show gratitude to them for taking him as their own son.

# My Mother’s Help To A Complete Stranger And Destitute

We had just finished feeling the harsh treatment that the so called friend I helped in the name of friendship had given to us as a family.  My mother was to go through that path once again, as she gave cogent reasons why this guy whom she said was literally sleeping in a condemned Danfo Bus in an open mechanic yard and was just living from hand to mouth.

Her pathetic story about the guy was touching but because we had suffered cruelly in the hands of my so called friend, I and my father were reluctant to flinch in agreeing to help. But, being a beautifully hearted mother she made sure she convinced us and we all agreed to her plight. We brought the young man into our house, treated him like he were our own. Neighbors never new he was a stranger, because we never showed any signs which suggested otherwise. He literally eat our food for over 5 years, slept in our house, was assisted in various levels by my mom, dad and myself. He was like an adopted child to us, just like the other guy.

The job which gave rise to this young man, was an advice which my mom and I made sure we gave him so he could be useful and stand as a guy, my father and I attested for him as guarantors.

Like what we have always been to others, our home served as springboard for this guy to rise up in life and become somebody today.

The same helpless guy, the same homeless guy, the same destitute. Had now become someone, and the same guy turned around to bite the same hands that feed him. Same guy could stand tall to call my mother who gave him a chance in life a liar and a cheat.

Today he speaks lowly of my parents and my family, forgetting that they were the same people whom out of their own little they gave and shared with him.

Till date he has never thought it wise to show Gratitude for all that was given and done to him.

“Despite the great and many benefits that it confers, gratitude is so hard to cultivate, because it opposes itself to deeply ingrained human traits, in particular, our striving to better our peers and friends, our need to feel in control of our destiny, our propensity to credit ourselves for our successes, and our belief in some sort of cosmic equality or justice.”

In contrast, true gratitude is a rare virtue. “Take the tale of a slave who finds a lion in an helpless situation of having a thorn lying deep in the paws of the lion. He pulls the thorn out of the paw of the lion seeing it's painful discomfort. Some time later, the same slave and the lion were captured, and the slave was thrown into a cave meant for the lion. The hungry lion rushes bounding and roaring toward the slave, but, upon recognizing his friend, he fawns upon him and licks his hands like a friendly dog.”

Gratitude, in conclusion ‘is the sign of noble souls’. Gratitude like all other virtues, gratitude requires great cultivation, until you reach to that point when you can say;‘Thank you for nothing, or for the most minutest of gestures.’

Have you checked yourself if that virtue of Gratitude truly abides in you?

I write this because a true Friend left His place of comfort and authority, and decided to give all up for your sake and for your peace. Even as I speak He still begs for your safety from His Father.

Have you truly been grateful for His sacrifice on the Cross for your redemption? Just like my former boss - do you feel “at least I go to church, I pay my tithes and offerings, I give to the poor and needy in the society…” is enough to commensurate His sacrifice for you, my friend and the guy my mother helped - do you really feel “He is supposed to save me from my sins, is He not God He should do it to save mankind…”, haven't you done worse to Him as a sign of ingratitude?

I write this so we can trace our steps back and show Jesus as much Gratitude as we can, and thank The Father for such an unconditional love He showed us.

Are you born again?

If you are, are you still in the faith?

Are you living a life of righteousness that is right with GOD and is in the heart position of being grateful for all Jesus has done for you just to save you from destruction?

As I write this, I also ask myself the same questions…

Please friends it's really getting late to say some certain things on holiness and righteousness, because the second coming of our Lord is sooner than we can ever imagine.

Make haste now that their is time.

I love you, but I know my Master and Savior Jesus Christ loves you more, more also His Father our Lord God Almighty, Jehovah!

Come to Jesus today, and to you who have wandered away for His will and purpose, “come back to His eternal love today…”

God Bless You!

love From :

Pastor Chidi OHANUM